Church vs Pears – The 2017 Match Report

For those who prefer a summary… Pears win again!

Most cricket matches start with an early inspection of the wicket, but this game started with an early interrogation of the Church’s selection tactics..

The questioning was conducted by those two village men of the cloth – Nick and Charlie…. and the accused was their non playing Captain Vaughan, who had to provide strong evidence that any of his players were regular members of the Congregation. A 70% hit rate seemed to be acceptable, and Vaughan breathed a sigh of relief that he had avoided prosecution or should that be persecution?

The Church side were strong – helped by Vaughan’s own demotion (!!) and the attendance of the three Cartledge boys, plus the Pears own generous donation – Ollie R.

The pre agreed coin toss was (as with tradition) redundant, and the Pears were put in to bat with the objective of setting a gettable target.

JP and Steve opened the innings, with tight bowling meaning that early straight bat defence was the order of the day. Both opening bowlers bowled 5 on the trot, and so after 10 overs, the Pears were only on 33, for the loss of Steve (6) bowled by D Cartledge…. One Tipping (s) out, replaced by another Tipping (R) who outscored his brother by 1 run and quickly returned to the pavilion for 7, lbw to M Cartledge. Will struck a few good boundaries but was bowled by a straight ball for 18 – from the third of the Cartledge boys – J. 

Our very own boys own Blacksmith – Knowlsey – strode to the wicket with squeaky pads and no expectation… But what was to follow was a demolition including 3 consecutive fours and a square leg six….on his way to a career high 28, before  D Cartledge struck again. Knowlsey has no gear, and also no idea…..but with odds stacked against him….he delivered. Thankfully all the cricketing genes in the Knowles family has passed to Max – and it was with quiet relief that an unfortunate injury had meant that Max could not further strengthen the Church’s accurate bowling attack.

At this stage, JP was scratching around for runs and occasionally finding the middle of his bat. Knowlsey’s departure forced a change in pace of the game… first James (0) and then yours truly (5) came and went without troubling Max (the scorer) who was still struggling to come to terms that his dad had even held his bat the right way around let alone scored 28! Laurence (9) finished not out, with JP heroically carrying his bat for 30 overs with a not out 75.  JG – do not mention Tavaré….

Total Pears first Innings: 173-6 a competitive score.

Rustic Quiches and Maltese cakes (courtesy of Linda and the Tipping girls) were consumed and the Church worked out their batting order.

A new tradition of this fixture was soon to be duly respected – the annual maiming of the  Village Umpire. Last year Cliff took a blow at square leg, which would have had most mortal men reaching for their Life Assurance claims……but this time Pete took a straight drive right on the wrist…..saved from a broken bone by the trusty old timepiece he was wearing….it looked like a Casio to most of us but by the end of the evening – as we were filling in his insurance claim over a few beers- it had become a Rolex formerly owned by Neville Chamberlain…The timepiece possibly had huge sentimental value, however Peter’s insistence that it was a rare Rolex, lacked credibility to me as I did note that the spelling was Rollox, which conveniently rhymes with the words to be used by the Insurance assessor!

Thankfully both Pete and Cliff – live to umpire another day – and much thanks for their time yesterday…and may I say very good decisions. Armoured umpire jackets will be ordered for next year!

The Church started well with G McDonald – in particular – looked like he had some menacing power and style….thankfully Tristan got his first of four bowled wickets for only 14 runs… Great stats. Will cracked g Miller’s stumps for a duck, and M Clark followed for  7. So with only 26 runs on the board and 3 wickets down, the Church needed divine intervention……. I hate to say it, but it almost arrived in the form of my son Ollie.

Crowding the bat with slips and short fielding positions. With heckles coming from north south east  and west, with his ill fitting vest and trousers, and his younger brother steaming in like D K Lillee……. Ollie had no chance. Second ball he turned it round the corner straight into my buckets……but oh dear there was a hold in my bucket…..and I spilled it!  Rousham caught Rousham bowled Rousham – was so nearly recorded!

As it was Ollie scored 52, and partnered Matt Cartledge (32) to a 66 run partnership. There was a mini collapse in the lower middle order with D & J Cartledge going cheaply for 1 and 5 respectively, and then Ross going for only 6 bowled by Will. Apart from Tristan’s 4-14, Laurence turned to pace and picked up 3-14 in three great overs. JP captured a very important and very hard hit caught and bowled. Only to be eclipsed in catching by a brilliant forward rolling catch by Knowlsey near the road boundary. With G Nicolaci and S Owen at the crease and with four overs to go….the win was still on for the Church, 14 needed off the last over and Tristan clattering the stumps twice in the last over, we bowled them out with the last ball of the game, leaving F Mendonca an infinitesimal average of 1 not out – I suspect for the season.

Church finish on 161-10.

JP carrying his bat for 73no and deserved to get voted as Man of the Match…. With Tristan, Ollie and Matt Cartledge all getting strong commendations!

Bank Holiday weekend match reports

Vs Old Woking (Saturday)

Captained ably by Rob T, we fielded a strong team of Pears whose faded caps revealed the distant memory of youth……together with a few youngsters whose hairlines have yet to be victimised by recession!

This was a friendly against a Saturday 3rd division Surrey team, playing in the League that – if we were able to build a large enough squad – we would enter. They elected to bat, and as we were not confident about setting a total, we were more than happy to take to the field.

Their openers started cautiously, and the opening attack of father/son – David/Will – bowling at very different paces to each other, yielded few runs in the first 8 overs, with Will picking up a leg side snick, brilliantly caught by a tumbling skipper. Old Woking had a femme fatale opening their innings. She played very well, and rarely looked in trouble, but the problem was balancing her slow scoring, with the other end of the Woking team who seemed unable to increase their own run rate – thanks to accurate Pear bowling and the regular fall of wickets at key times. The young lady carried her bat for 35 overs , but only scored 56 runs. Our bowling attack did the business…. Tristan 5overs-28runs-0wkts, Adrian 4-18-0, Martin 7-18-1, Tom 4-26-0, Ollie 2-5-0, Will 7-20-2, David 6-20-1. Other than Will’s medium pace, we were lacking in speed, but the pitch offered us a variety of grip and bounce that meant that the Woking team were tentative about playing their strokes. Good fielding from the entire team, also helped keep the score down.They finished theiir innings on 138-5.

The weather was warming up Pear Park as we munched our way through tea, with conversation generally focussed on the extraordinary pantone reference colours that our Chairman had managed to negotiate with Dulux paints…..

Steve (9) and Martin (10) opened our innings, with confidence high. To be fair, the two opening bowlers for Woking were only medium paced, but quite accurate – and it was the accuracy that did for both our boys.Martin chased one and was caught by first slip, whilst Steve was done by a straight one. In strode our own small rock…. Ollie…. a bit like Woking’s opening bats(wo)man, Ollie played a very steady and chanceless innings – finishing on 50 not out – hitting 6 boundaries. But partnering Ollie were a couple of pure bred Pears….Adrian (9) and then Tom(59no). Adrian got ahead of himself and lofted a ball that was there to be clobbered – but was caught. Tom, offering the Pears his presence between weights sessions and bench press competitions, literally muscled Woking in to submission. The first ball was skied over the boundary for six….and rarely (never) was there a blocked ball in the rest of the innings – 2x6s and 6x4s. Very graciously Tom – having overtaken Ollie on the scoreboard – did slow down to allow Ollie to scamper to his half century. We won with 9 overs to go, 142-3.

An excellent account for our first Saturday game, showing that with a bit of application, and a few decent players – the Pears Saturday XI are breathing once more!  Beers were sunk, and plans were plotted for more games and even a special one off 20/20 IPL style, Pyrfords very own Big Bash. Watch this space.

Vs Ripley (Sunday)

Forecast was for rain at about 16:00 on Ripley Green….and it came, but only very slight drizzle, so the game was played in good spirit. The Pears fielded 6 players of 16 or under, and 5 players of fine vintage. Ripley fielded their full Staurday third XI as a warm up for the seasopn ahead. To be fair, it did include three youngsters, so we took to the firld with a good level of confidence that we would have a competitive game.

Ripley started very slowly, and after the first 8 overs we’d only conceded 18 runs, and Max had picked up the wicket of the more stylish of their two openers. We were fielding a number of highly talented young all rounders – but Max is definitely a stand out player. His fielding is also a very strong part of the game….but it was his bravery in the field – diving forward to try to scoop up a hard hit drive at mid-on….that led to a nasty finger injury, and an early retirement. We wish him well in his recovery – especially as GCSEs are a matter of days away! So with only ten men, the Captain was feeling nervous. But who should arrive, but our very own super sub, the three foot nothing Ollie George….who enthusiastically took to the field and ran around the expanse of Ripley Green like a whirling blonde dervish.

Without Max (4overs – 8 runs for 1 wkt) we needed every bowler to step up to the plate and contribute…..and it was really great to see everyone doing just that. Alex bowled a really tidy spell of 5-17-0, whilst bowling to Ripleyt’s most destructive batsman who hit a quick fire 43. Laurence came on with some flighty accurate off-spin and bowled 5 overs getting 2wkts for 28 runs. Sam 4-24-0, myself 4-11-2, Ross 3-20-1, David Mc 3-21-2, Ollie G 3-12-0, Tim 3-21-1……all combined as 10 bowlers, bowling 35 overs and getting all 10 of the Ripley wickets….great job. This was a 40 over game, but we managed to bowl Ripley out for a total of 181 in only 35 overs, when a total way in excess of 200 was looking on the books.

Two great catches that I can recall…..Ross’s caught and bowled, and Sam’s high catch at fly slip….. commendable.

The Ripley Clubhouse is a lovely place for a proper English tea – and indeed it was. The batting line up was read out around the scones, and the Pears looked positive about getting to the total as long as the rain kept away.


….the Ripley pitch took on a new characteristic after tea….and a couple of shooters keeping low scuttled our main players. Tim (8), Rob (5), Ollie (0) were all casualties of the wicket. Only Alex (23) early on, seemed  able to master the conditions, and looks at becoming a really class batsman. Will (1) came and went., Then in strode Dave Mc (an old BA buddy of mine) who punched the ball with power all round the park getting us past the 50 mark and all looked good until he missed a straight one and got bowled for 25. Sam (0) also didn’t trouble the scorers, whilst Laurance played a couple of good shots, but then a mix up in calling meant that he was run out for 10 runs.

Then came the calamitous, ruinous moment of a young child’ s life..  Will, umpiring for the first time, his dad at bat, his captain at bat, only two wickets left and a hundred runs adrift……. a half hearted dubious LBW appeal……and Will raises his finger.   THIS SCRIBE IS NOT BITTER, but just recognise that on Church Hill in Pyrford, you may see a child with a begging bowl for the next three months! So with my wicket falling for just 5 runs, Simon and Ross were left as the last wicket. We all felt that it was only a matter of time…..but both of them played great cricket to put on a half century stand and get our eventual total up to a respectable figure. Ross was eventually caught for 33, whilst Simon stayed unbeaten on 16.

We scored 138 all out falling 43 runs short, and we still had 9.3 overs to play. If only one of our other key batsman were to have gotten in, this could have been a different result. But that’s cricket.

Thanks to all for a good weekend of sport…..especially those who helped fill in on both days….and especially…..good luck to Max, and get well soon.

Remember – I need players for next Sunday (7th May) at home… please get in contact.



Chairman’s XI Report

IMG_0001Family bonds are strong at Pear Park – generations of the Tipping clan procured and served a sumptuous feast of savouries, cakes, clotted cream & jam scones. Young and ageing generations of Roushams, George’s and Douglas’ took to the field of play, a couple of young Knowlsey’s managed the scoring (Max, thanks for keeping Luke honest!) and then there was the Chairman’s brood…….

Family Reed, fuelled with exciting thoughts of an Alaskan cruise, turned their minds from wrestling Grizzlies to thrashing willow. As was the prerogative, Roger decided family bonding was correct and so selected Tom and Will for his team, he was granted a further pro (Lippy) and then randomly pulled from the hat a number of other players. Due to a slight admin error – his team added up to 12. So the last person selected – Uncle Bill – was passed to the opposition. What a mistake that proved to be!!

Family disloyalty spurred the Uncle to take the critical wicket, his nephew Tom – and bowl four very mean overs….and then be part of the final three over successful run chase. Uncle Bill can play for me every time!

So the Dev squad featured – Roushams x3, our two pros (Martin and Walshy), and then a further selection of power and guile from the massed squad.

Roger lost the toss, and the Chairman’s XI were put in…..

Opening pair of Steve and Jon L… opening pair that have featured several times this season to great success. Their partnership provided a number of missed chances – Knowlsey spilled a scorcher from Tipping’s Gray Nicholls. Jon (2) holed out to Martin at mid on ( having been dropped by Roush Snr earlier) before Martin then switched to bowler and got Steve (26) caught by Chocolate smudge. Then arrived the key partnership that could have brought a mammoth first innings lead. Lippy (41) and Tom (6). Tom was well caught by Jaap, bowled by his jubilant Uncle. The crunch wicket of Lippy fell to a straight ball by Ollie Roush. A few more drops by JG and John M kept the score to a sporting total. Then came one of my more memorable wickets… Will R (17) made a great partnership with Lippy before succumbing to our secret 9 year old bowler Ollie G – who once more finished with the figures of two overs two runs one wicket. More batsman came, contributed and lost wickets. Tristan (12), JP (6) hit wicket thanks to the cap wearing feature of Simon’s three overs. Anthony (6), came and went, run out by sharp fielding and keeping by Walshy. Roger and Peter sedately moved through the final few overs in Tavarésque fashion. The total coming to 136 for 9, with Bruce not batting.

Catches win matches, but thankfully for the Dev XI, missed catches also seem to win matches!!! But did make it a very close affair…… Read on.

Wickets fell to Ollie R, Martin, Will Roush, Ollie G, Bill, John M and Simon…plus a couple of run outs. Pick of the bowlers – Bill and Ollie G

Second innings

Diamond duck to Will Roush having spoofed and lost for facing first ball with his brother. JP claimed his only scalp, well held at first slip by the juggling Tipping. Ollie Roush (30) with his split trousers partnered Jonathan G (16) really well to a decent 47 run partnership. Tristan then bowled Jonathan G with a block hole ball, heralding the entrance of Gladiator Knowles (4) more at home with a spear than a bat, he swiped ball 1 to the boundary, and then heard his stumps scattered by ball 2, another wicket to Tristan. Then appeared the batting masterclass of Martin J (51no) who took the Pears Dev team home with all but one of the rest of the team. Walshy (8) hit the perfect straight drive – and then got done by a fast ball from double wicket taker Tom. Simon (0) being Tom’s second victim. Jaap (4) and John M (4) got us to needing 21 from 21balls….. Lippy and Bruce were now bowling some tight overs, but Martin controlled the strike, with Bill (2) finishing a great match with an unbeaten brace. The winning 4 was hit with 2 balls to go by the clear MVP trophy winning – Martin.

A perfect finish……. 137-9.

Tom and Tristan finished with two wickets, with Bruce, Peter, JP all getting one.

Jon L kicking the ball over the boundary was definitely the key single fielding faux pas that JG will not allow him to forget!

Thanks again to Cliff for umpiring, Rachel for masterminding the teas, Max/Luke for scoring, and everyone else for turning up and providing a close encounter.


The maturing of the Pears Dev XI

You might have thought that a bunch of ageing Pears had seen their finest day, but Merrow were shown the biggest demolition job in their recent history. We won by 163 runs, scoring 270 all out from 34.3 overs, and had them at 107-9 from their 35 overs.
The sweet smell of victory at last!

The team was made up of five elderly types, three 16/17/18 yr olds, and three 13/14 yr olds….due to two of the youngsters needing to leave we then managed to sub on an 11 and 9 yr old for the latter overs! Talk about developing youth, shortly we’ll be needing midwives on the boundary!

1. Three new debutants – Ben Way, Charlie Bridgewater, Matt Cooper (welcome)
2. Tipping S – a fine 62 from opener, including 11x4s
3. Reed T – a powerful 80 retired, 13×4 and a 6
4. Mitchell T – an athletic 52 retired, 6×4, and many 1s 2s and even a 3, proving age does not wither the true sprinter!
5. Rousham O – a steady 26
6. Cooper M – some power boundaries at the end for 18.
7. After dropping four dolly catches… opposition fielder called 118….due to his lanky hair, tash and headband, managed to claim Reed W’s wicket first ball! In the scorebook forever is Will Reed, Caught 118, Bowled Jones😄

8. Astonishing C&B by Rousham W
9. Diving catch by Mitchell T
10. Single wickets for Tipping R, Reed T, Rousham O and Bridgewater C.
11. Three, 3, III, drei, trois…..wickets for Tipping S

12. Throughout the game, Chairman Reed studied form and plotted his selection for two weeks time, egged on by Jonathan G, still paranoid about not being the last boy on the playground wall!

So onwards from glory, to something likely to be more gory…

Pears Dev XI vs. Oxshott

As a Captain, I feel physically shattered. We got beat. Hamstring pull during my first over. Elbow ligaments damaged whilst fielding. But spiritually, I’m on an emotional high. A team score of 197 for 8. The Pears showing great team spirit in tough bowling conditions. We supported an 18yr old in getting a top score of 71. We gave a 13yr old his first ever 50, and we gave a 9yr old a bowling and batting experience that he and his Dad will remember for the rest of their lives. Plus we only lost by 16 runs to a team that fielded a pro batsman who scored 115, and the son of Graham Thorpe ( Henry) who scored 58.

So every reason to be happy…….despite the references to the Pears Captain athletic fielding being more reminiscent of a heavy roller.. (Tipping – I have you marked for my end of season obituary speech!)

Our bowling performance was truly examined, with only 3wkts being taken, but it hid some excellent individual performances.

Comment must firstly go to Tony Mitchell whose athletic keeping meant we zeroed on byes, and our bowlers conceded no wides. Not many innings are that well contained.

Lippy topped the bowling figures with 4 overs 2 wkts for 8, with the only other wkt falling to Will Roush, who bowled 6 tight overs 1wkt for 24. Ollie George (debutant extraordinaire) managed 3 accurate overs for only 12 runs, with his first over being the only maiden of the entire innings! Ollie G is a nine year old who has never played hard ball cricket, and was playing with an adult ball, over a full 22yds! Ollie finished with 3 overs for 12. A future Pears star has been born..

Other bowling figs were less comment worthy, but for the record:
Will Read – 5overs, 57runs
Roush Snr – 3/12
Vaughan – 4/26
Ollie R – 5/24
Tom R – 3/17
Jonathan – 2/28

On the batting side, we got off to a really tough start with some fast accurate bowling from Oxshott. Steve T – coming off an unbeaten 50 last week – got scorched by a fast low one second ball, followed fairly quickly by Lippy (4) and Ollie R (3)…. The Pears were struggling, and batting order were rejigged to try to add done stability. Tom was propping up one end, supported by Tony (9) and then Will Roush, this was to prove the key partnership. Tom and Will combined in a 94 run partnership. Tom finally going for 71. Will Roush was joined by Will Reed (2), Vaughan (6), Simon (0) dubiously given out by one of Oxshott’s younger umpires.. The Captain then joined his youngest to bludgeon a very painful 24, before letting young Ollie G come in for the last over – and thanks to Oxshott’s team spirit – allowed him to finish the game 3 not out, with Will Roush finishing 52no.

So another away loss, but total win in every other sense.

Thanks to all the Pears who contributed to the positive spirit, and thanks to George and the Oxshott team for playing cricket like Sunday cricket should be played. Great support from three generations of the Reed family, the Tipping clan and the George’s who all turned up as spectators.